my father's words

"the biggest problem we had with you was how we would be able to explain the concept of failure and somehow make you understand what it is."

May 17, 2008, before having lunch, my dad and i found this box filled with our family pictures. Of course all pictures were taken in the past, some of my pics were taken when i was really really, really young, as in. There's this pic taken when i was around 2-3 years old, my mom said "kulang na lang apple, may lechon de leche na tayo", hahahaha. And some were taken during my early childhood years highlighting my oh so ugly duckling stage, where i was really fat. (i'll have some scanned and i'll post it really soon). It was nice seeing them, until i saw this pic, we were playing "hampas palayok" and it was my turn to make hampas the palayok, so i was blindfolded. Imagine that tiny me, almost close to 3 feet carrying a pole of the same height. Well, my mom told me that i didn't get to hit the palayok, and i lost but at least i tried. Then my dad told me, "alam mo nung bata ka, whenever you joined parlor games, and kapag ma-oout ka na, nagwawala ka and you were so angry." (even doing a reenactment.). To my shock, i only said "talaga?" and then he continued, "you were always competitive and you don't want to lose." Until he uttered these words, ""the biggest problem we had with you was how we would be able explain the concept of failure and somehow make you understand what it is.". according to my oh so clever dad, i was so used to winning and i was so competitive that they were worried because i never experienced failure. Well that went on, up until i lost at one competition in 4th grade. (and, my mind was really digging deep, and yeah, they were damn right...) That moment really sucked, and i certainly did remember that, i lost at my first ever modeling competition. harhar, tears were all over my face that night, and i kept on asking myself why i lost? i got over it eventually and i continued to live my life normally.

Thinking over the years i've lived, there were numerous competitions and insurmountable challenges that came my way. And it came to hit me, that i was indeed a competitive person. I never liked losing, winning was always what i wanted. I was a complete total fighter. Now, i so believe my friends, i really am what they think of me.

Guess i already had my competitive part of me since i was a kid, and until now, i still am. Before failures and disappointments brought tears, but eventually i realized that this is all part of the game of life. I hate failing but i know i can and will manage to pull it through. As we grow and age, we mature and we learn. And that's what's important, we discover who we are and we define our purpose.

"We can't win everything, but I'm ready to give everything a shot"
-rlpv